Understanding Dementia Patients: What It Means When They Say 'I Want to Go Home'
- Shawnee Canjura
- Sep 30
- 4 min read
Navigating dementia can be difficult for both patients and caregivers. One phrase that often surfaces in conversations is, "I want to go home." This statement can stir various emotions in caregivers, creating uncertainty about how to react. Understanding why a dementia patient expresses this sentiment is key to providing appropriate support. It is vital to respond in a calm and reassuring way to help ease their distress and foster a sense of safety.
In this blog post, we will cover the most commons reasons they say this, practical strategies for responding effectively, and ways to create a positive environment for dementia patients.
Understanding the Meaning Behind "I Want to Go Home"
When a dementia patient declares a desire to "go home," it often highlights feelings of confusion, anxiety or physical discomfort rather than indicating a specific place. It is very common for dementia patients to say they want to go home even when they are already in their own home. This can be exasperating for caregivers! The reason this happens so frequently isn't because they are being belligerent or because where they are now (home or outside of it) is exceptionally awful to them. To most people, "home" represents safety, familiarity, and comfort. As dementia progresses, feelings of disorientation can grow, leading them to long for the comforting feeling of 'home'.
Practical Strategies for Responding
1. Validate Their Feelings
Start by acknowledging their emotions. You might say, "I understand that you want to go home." Validating their feelings can help them feel heard and understood, creating a foundation for further conversation.
2. Mirror Their Sentiment
To show that you are their ally and someone they can trust, say that you feel the same. Say, "I understand that you want to go home. I want to go home, too!"
3. Redirect the Conversation
Now that they feel heard and understood, redirect the conversation to help shift focus away from distressing thoughts. Try, "I understand that you want to go home. I want to go home, too! The bus doesn't leave for another hour, let's eat some lunch so we don't get hungry on the road".
Suggesting any activity they enjoy can divert their attention. For example, you could also say, "How about we watch that show you like?" "I just found some great music albums let's listen to see if we should pack any with us" "Let's put on nice outfits for the trip". Engaging them in a more positive experience can improve their mood.
4. Remove The Cause
You might also try to understand what is making them uncomfortable. Common discomforts could be:
Hunger/thirst: Instead of asking they want to eat or drink, simply put a snack and a glass of water in front of them. if you have a strong suspicion that they need to eat/drink, encourage them to partake by taking a bite/sip yourself.
Pain from an infection: This could be a UTI, ear infection or infected wound. Monitor them in the bathroom and respectfully check over their body for cuts. Try standing outside the bathroom door to listen for sounds of discomfort while urinating. Ask, "Can I see your hand? I think it's bigger than mine!" etc.
Headache/Body ache: Touch their head gently and ask, "How's everything feel up here?"; offer them a chair if they've been standing a long time, say "My back/legs/feet hurt" and see if they say their's do too. If appropriate, offer them some OTC pain meds.
Trouble seeing: Turn on all the lights in the room. Dementia affects the brain's ability to contextualize the visual environment. Even small shadows can cause fear and confusion for a person with dementia. A dark rug might look like a hole in the floor, a dark corner combined with background noise from a TV could easily turn into a scary passageway in their minds.
Trouble hearing: Hearing loss has a big impact on one's ability to understand what is happening around them and can a huge impact on the mood of a person with dementia. They won't be able to identify it as hearing loss. What they might identify it as is: People whispering about them behind their back, people keeping secrets, people ignoring them. of course they would want to go home if they felt that was happening around them! Try speaking at a normal volume behind them, see if they respond properly. If not, it's probably worth getting their hearing checked out.
Final Thoughts
When a dementia patient says, "I want to go home," they usually don't literally mean that. It is essential to respond with understanding and agreement. By validating their feelings, providing comfort, and removing whatever is making them uncomfortable, caregivers can help ease anxiety and promote a sense of safety anywhere they're at.
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